New video to widen your perspective on death and dying. We don't "move on" from our grief. We move "forward with" our grief. In this perspective, it's as if grief is a lifelong circumstance. Do you agree or disagree?

• Funeral Traditions Around the Globe
• Life that Doesn't End in Death
• Your Digital Life After Death
• How to Prepare for a Good Death
• What Doctors Learn About Death & Dying
• What 2,000 Deaths Can Teach Us About Living A Good Life

American Afterlife: Encounters in Customs of Mourning (2014)

By Kate Sweeney

"To Americans, death is an enigma" Sweeney writes when a museum curator becomes perplexed by a guest's question. And the question itself is jaw-dropping. The curator of the museum is only one of the many stories wrapped up in her "travel journal" type encounters. The places and individuals she encounters would be on the bucket lists of any individual who is curious about death and dying customs in America. From the museum, she visits a cemetery or two, she explores the "green" funeral movement, a tattoo artist's philosophical impressions of memorializing loved ones on skin, a a funeral chaplain, a mother who maintains a roadside memorial, and more.

History is rich within the pages of American Afterlife. Understanding the implications that war, disease, culture, and even fashion had on the views and practices related to mourning, funerals, burials, cremations, and so on is extraordinary to read. Sweeney is doing more than recounting her adventures; she is also providing the reader the facts, references, a tentative map and the desire to investigate these places yourself.

Kate Sweeney is empathetic to the reader and beautifully discusses each encounter, fact, and location as if to place an arm around the reader's shoulder. This book is far from morbid or grotesque. It is a great addition to any death education library.

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UPDATE: It's sad to say, but the Museum of Funeral Customs, as mentioned throughout the book, is permanently closed. This mid-western location was open from 1999 to early 2009 and due to lack of funding and traffic, they were forced to close their doors permanently. Some of the photographic remains of the museum can be found simply by searching the internet. One can only imagine what it must have been like to set foot through the doors rather than view the photos through a screen.

-Monica Massengale, Death Reference 2018

How do you bring up the topic of death with friends when you need the support? It's not what most people consider a comfortable topic. If you are struggling with loss, grief, or simply have questions about the nature of death you can find several books, audio books, academic journals and magazines on the topic. If you aren't following Death References (another site I started awhile back) then you probably aren't familiar with my frequent posts on these resources. Keep in mind that I do not post one perspective. I try to post a variety of viewpoints and cultural practices. 

A photo of a few of the books I have on the topics of death, dying, suicide, grief, bereavement, miscarriage and more.

              

Find yourself wanting to know more about a crime from years gone by? Authors are tackling some of the most interesting murders in history and writing some incredible nonfiction pieces.

                   

While many people will find this particular genre of literature disturbing (putting in mildly) these nonfiction books have scientific significance. All living organisms will eventually die. It's inevitable. And yet, many people will avoid the topic and cringe when any details are provided. Death is natural...as natural as birth. We, as a living being, study birth and everything about it. And guess what? We also study death. The most difficult part of researching death is understanding what really happens after the death we "see". Some research is being conducted on a micro-level, but no publications have been release yet. Further details on "micro-level death" to come. In the mean time, here is a list of books that you might find intriguing.

<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Corpse-Nature-Forensics-Struggle-Pinpoint/dp/0738207713" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51p1mxKph3L._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="182" height="280" /></a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stiff-Curious-Lives-Human-Cadavers/dp/0393324826/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_0/139-7866665-5803456?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=RD9XYH439Z70574CZEEN" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51nCLh9sGVL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="186" height="280" /></a>

<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Human-Bone-Manual-Tim-White/dp/0120884674/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523596775&sr=8-1&keywords=human+bone+manual" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/5198q55%2B3QL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="187" height="280" /></a>  <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Curtains-Undertaker-Training-Tom-Jokinen/dp/0306818914/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523596671&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=curtains+funeral+director" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41%2BNjxzYY%2BL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="187" height="280" /></a>

<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Death-Dust-What-Happens-Bodies/dp/1883620074/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523596991&sr=1-1&keywords=Death+to+Dust" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71MF4XJ1H0L._SX334_BO1,204,203,200_.gif" width="186" height="281" /></a>  <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Work-Dead-Cultural-History-Remains/dp/0691180938/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523596935&sr=1-2&keywords=The+Work+of+the+Dead" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51OrH3QRHOL._SX328_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="185" height="280" /></a>

The images have been linked to Amazon.com; however, I recommend you search for these titles at your local library, thrift stores or on <a href="https://deathreferences.wordpress.com/2018/04/08/13-online-bookstores-lowest-prices/">this handy list for online retailers who sell used books for low prices</a> (you're welcome).

<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Human-Body-Decomposition-Jarvis-Hayman/dp/0128036915/ref=pd_sim_14_19?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0128036915&pd_rd_r=PSYGWGRSJQQQDA4AT0B7&pd_rd_w=y6aGn&pd_rd_wg=QJXzD&psc=1&refRID=PSYGWGRSJQQQDA4AT0B7" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51IF1vk4oML._SX330_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="186" height="280" /></a>   <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Facing-Facts-Death-Bereavement/dp/1560322861/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523597312&sr=1-1&keywords=Dying%3A+Facing+the+Facts" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31Bnaakb%2BQL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="187" height="280" /></a>

Hawaii became the seventh state to sign into law the Our Choice Act (aka Death with Dignity) on April 6, 2018. This was signed as an option available for end-of-life care with the understanding that "assisted suicide is not for everyone".

Taken from the Death with Dignity website:

Before your time is here, you might want to catch up on your legislation. Death with Dignity laws (aka physician-assisted dying or aid-in-dying laws) stem from the basic idea that it is the terminally ill people, not government and its interference, politicians and their ideology, or religious leaders and their dogma, who should make their end-of-life decisions and determine how much pain and suffering they should endure.

Death with Dignity statutes allow mentally competent adult state residents who have a terminal illness with a confirmed prognosis of having six or fewer months to live to voluntarily request and receive a prescription medication to hasten their inevitable, imminent death. By adding a voluntary option to the continuum of end-of-life care, these laws give patients dignity, control, and peace of mind during their final days with family and loved ones.

Five states and Washington, D.C., have Death with Dignity statutes:

• California (End of Life Option Act; approved in 2015, in effect from 2016)
• Colorado (End of Life Options Act; 2016)
• District of Columbia (D.C. Death with Dignity Act; 2016/2017)
• Hawaii (Our Care, Our Choice Act; 2018/2019)
• Maine (Death with Dignity Act; 2019)
• New Jersey (Aid in Dying for the Terminally Ill Act; 2019)
• New Mexico (Elizabeth Whitefield End of Life Options Act; 2021)
• Oregon (Death with Dignity Act; 1994/1997)
• Vermont (Patient Choice and Control at the End of Life Act; 2013)
• Washington (Death with Dignity Act; 2008)

Montana does not currently have a statute safeguarding physician-assisted death. In 2009, Montana’s Supreme Court ruled nothing in the state law prohibited a physician from honoring a terminally ill, mentally competent patient’s request by prescribing medication to hasten the patient’s death. Since the ruling, several bills have been introduced to codify or ban the practice, none of which have passed.

Read more here.

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